All Set and Done

The Broken Phone

2009-09-23T10:55:00.002+12:00

I got on a big fight that leaves my phone broken and smash.
Maybe I just over reacted, but I'm totally angry that if I don't break something I might go crazy.

Of all the things I can break, why my phone? Well, its least valuable in my hand. I cant break my MP3, I cant destroy my Lovely book collection. I cant break my mirror. So, it left me no choice, so I smash my phone on the wall. Leave it for a while then pick it up again, break it from the inside and "accidentally" throw it out side. I'm not BITTER.
That's just how it is and that what I am when I'm totally pissed. I have to break something. My phone needs to retire anyway. Its like 5 years old or older.

So for now, I have to suffer. Phone less for I don't know how long, because I AM NOT BUYING A NEW ONE.

My Dead End

2009-09-14T09:29:00.007+12:00

I've been doing things i know will help me in the future, but i just cant bring my self to take it seriously. I know its a waste of money and time but i don't think my brain realizes this. this suck in every possible way. every corner i turn into and every idea i come up with.

it feels like I'm in a dead end. a dead end that you can never turn back and start over again. No options to take, no choices to make. just plain DEAD END. The feeling that you are so helpless that you cant even move a limb to climb up the wall because no matter how much you climb or jump you know you cant reach the top and save your self. this feeling sucks in every possible way and it sucks more when you realize the people you needed the most in times like this turn their back on you because they know you may drag them down with you. Of course I'm exaggerating, I don't have that kind friend, but sooner or later, I will. By that time I dont think I will still keep living.

I know people will say: "everything will be alright" or "don't worry, its all gonna be OK". those words are that word that people don't wanna hear when they are in this situation. Its really irritating to hear those words specially when they don't know what your going through and not understand what is it for you.

For me the words "You can make it, I know you can". Oh hell I can. I'm straggling so much to the point that I'm about to give up, you fool. I'm not as strong as you think I am. Its so frustrating hearing those words over and over again like a broken record that drives you nuts.

But anyway, life has its own roller coaster ride, but sometimes life gets too excited and over do it to the point that people has to let go.

Shop More

2009-08-19T14:49:00.002+12:00

I will assume everyone knows "Pet Society". If you dont, you can google it.

So heres the story:

Me and my cousin is all crazy about this game "Pet Society" on Facebook. We are so crazy that we actually bought the Blue Cash. It a different kind of money that you can use on the specific shop ONLY. It cost each of us 17.44 $Nz for 55 Blue Cash.
Last saturday (august 15) we bought it and it regestered into our accounts early this morning. So, we are all excited and all of that. We shop none stop today. Its the only thing I want to do today. After class I went directly to the Library to use one of the computers so that i can play.
So here I am, I stopped because my 55 Blue Cash is now down to 14 BlueCash.

I shop too much.

A Whole New Dream

2009-07-27T09:35:00.003+12:00

Last saturday night, I dream of Charlie again. Yes, He is Charlie. I'm telling you his name now because that dream tell me something. The feeling whenever I dream of him before is gone. I dont miss him anymore. Its over, no more daydreaming of him coming back to me. No more hopes that keep stabing me whenever I dream about him. But now? nothing. Its all gone.

Its been 4 years, yeah that long. I hope this is really the end. I really hope so.

My dream is that I'm in a bus stop. Waiting for his bus to arrive, I sat on the pavement. Its took ages but I still waited. When he finally arrive we went to my house. I introduce him to my family. The wierd thing is that everybody is laughting at us. I drag him to a park. We walked like a couple. It feels so good to hold his hand once again. Then my dream has ended with the sound of my alarm.

♣Lady RedBird♣

So Loooooooong

2009-07-22T09:30:00.002+12:00

Hi, havent written anything in a long time so i'll just write anything I can remember in the past few months.

I started twitting (as in using Twitter). Lot of posers and fakes in there. I dont even know if I'm following the real ones.
Second or 'B' semester has already begun and its already the 2nd week.
I drop one of my papers* and now I'm carrying only 3. Its much easier this ways. Not much preassure.
The other week I witnessed a Cat Fight**. Its not really exciting because both girls dont know how to punch. Their fist is flying all oever the place, amd guese where it took place? At the Bus Depo***, lots of bastards is cheering for them to carry on fighting. Its not a good fight I tell you. If its me, I would be in jail right now.
Oh! I almost forgot. I'm going to Uni with my brother, cousins and friends now. Another reason why this semester is much better than the previous one.
Me and my brother is classmates in two of my papers. I dont know if its a good thing or bad thing.

In case you dont know:

*Papers: Subjects

**Cat Fight: Girl Fight

***Bus Depo: Terminal

3 Natural things That Fascinate Me the Most

2009-06-13T15:50:00.004+12:00

I was searching random images in Google when I decide to what
do I love about nature.
Well, nature is amazing in a way you wouldn't think its possible.
I'm not sure if some of the images below is edited to look great but they are
all awesome.

First is rainbow, imagine how brilliant the creator is.

Lightning. You might think that I'm a weird, but I do think that I am. I always
think is a glorious sight, specially the sound that comes after it.

Aurora. I have never seen one in my life but someday somehow I will be.
So watch out.
I dont know how aurora happens but all I know is that its beautiful.

I just told you how great nature is and what is my favorite part of it,
so what's your?

Series Of Things

2009-06-03T10:15:00.006+12:00

First thing:

Every monday morning, the first thing I do when I arrive early in school is grab a NEXUS mag in the hallway and read until the tutor is in. My favorite column of that mag is the "Lettuce of the Week" and "Runt All you Want" (or something like that).

I always ignore some peoples articles and go directly to the said columns because its fun reading what people think is 'Shit'. One time her runt is about her angry vagina being ill-treated, and another is about smokers and Carpark. I'm very impress how people in this country is very stressed with parking lots.

So, I started reading....BOOM!! The letuce of the week is a human complaining about people runting shit and he/she is tired of reading it every monday morning and the school is not that bad. I was like "What The F**k Dude, people are just doing that because they the price "Voucher of the Bookstore" when your runt is the best out of anyone and lets face the fact that people are a little oportunist sometimes. When we are given the chance to say what we want to say and what we want to be heard we grab it".

Let them say what they want and they didnt say that the Uni is all bad, they are just stating thier opinion. Thats all. LOL, that guy is drunk.

Second:

Phil10102/103: Critical Thinking

This paper is about "Arguament", although I dont love it I still continue to come to class. I listen to the tutor and take notes and sometimes reading the book. I'm having a very hard time not to oversleep. Alarming my phone on the maximum volume.

I never been late in this paper until now. And to make matters worst, its our Final Exam. I arrive their about 20 mins late. Good thing I finished it on time. lol. It could have been worst.

Third:

Zee fixed my site. Including the comment box (i havent got any until now), my cbox (^O^) and the post titles. My cousin is the greatest things you can have. Yeah, I lab her. SALAMAT again. XD

Fourth:

Its Freezing Cold...!!!

MOVING AGAIN

2009-05-23T21:39:00.003+12:00

hai pepz..,
i think i'm moving to another blog soon,
my cousin is making a new blogsite for me so,,,
yeah.., she told me to look for a theme for now
so she can start making it work..
anyway, i'm pretty sure its mywhitenoice.co.cc

The Cabbit

2009-05-08T12:45:00.003+12:00

Do you believe in "Cabbit" ?

cabbit: a croos breed between a cat and a rabbit. Can that be possible? I found this website, its about almost every silly thing you know ( e.g. Cabbit story)

there are some photos in this website that proves that its true, but its actually false. What they call Cabbit is actually a cat that has a genetic deffects. As a result, it looks like a cat and a rabbit.

A cat has a chromosome no. of 38. (19 pairs)
and a rabbit has 44 (22 pairs)

that it self proves that "Cabbit" is impossible to exist.

Decleration

2009-05-06T11:24:00.005+12:00

I can say I long to thee,

to make him see

the wonder of me

and the beauty of the sea

by: gotom nga Lucille

I am hungry and therefore her mind is spinning to seek for food. I am bored and my eyes are tired of reading Pride and Prejudice. I'm almost at the end. Although I already know the ending, I'm still excited of how it would be in the book.

By reading the book, I realise that the actors of the latest P&P have done a very great job in delivering the lines. Specially Miss keira knightly. It was so amazing, that I thought no one could have done a better job.

In the book, the lenght of time has been shorten and some of the events has been change. I'm not saying its a bad thing. Actually its pretty amazing how they match the scenes like puzzle peices. In the book, the whole story would have took place for more that a year. And the events are more boring, I must say. Miss. Elizabeth's visit to now Mrs. Collin is actually a Month long.

Its a good thing they cut the boring bits, its more exciting and wonderfully done.

well, here is another runt. My apologies.

My worst nightmare EVER!!

2009-05-01T09:37:00.006+12:00

in my dream i was using the computer here in the university library. I was in the 4th floor and busy doing my assignment. I was listening to some music and is oblivous of the world around me when suddenly "I turn to my left to see the printer but what I saw was the last face in the world that I would like to see". And he was god damn happy to see me. I panic but sat frozen in my chair. My heart started beating fast, my head is filled with plans to escape that damn guy and also why on earth is he here? for heavens sake this is New Zealand and of all the plases he might see me, why in the library where I cant dash away. I turned bact to the computer screen to log it off, but while I was logging off, he was telling everybody in the freaking room that I am his girlfriend and how he found me. I was shevering to death with confusion, fear, anger and self control so I decided to walk away as if nothing has happened.

My misfortune didnt end in that scene, he followed me wherever I go. I ran through stairs and jump through pavements but he is still there, walking fast to catch up with me. My plan is not working at all so I decided to go to a councillor to inlighten his mind that I dont want him. "Gosh who would want him if he is that pushy". anyway, I lead him to the councillors office. I entered the room and he was left outside. I told the councillor about how things turnedout and how he is following me like a stalker. after my very long speach it was the guys turn to tell his side of the story. i was told to wait outside but I have another plan: go somewhere where he cant find me. I decided to hangout in the public library when my mom called me that a councillor was in my house waiting for me with the guy. WTF???? I opened my eyes and my heart still beating fast.

and said to my self: "damn, that was weird", and close my eyes again. the next day i promise that I wont think about it.

I dream of it a few days ago, and damn it is the most creepy dream I ever have in my intire life. No Ghost but there is a certain human that would make me kill my self than be in a room alone with him.

call me whatever you want but you cant change my mind.

Simply Breathtaking

2009-04-27T16:25:00.002+12:00

If you ask me a month ago what is my favorite love story, I would centainly answer "Twilight", but now things have change. Its both good and bad thing to happen. I'll tell the reasons in a minute.

Before I would go begging to my mother, just to let me borrow money so I can buy the Directors Notebook in The Making of Twilight. I even bought all 4 books to read them again and again and again wothout the hussle of reserving it in the Library. I'm even planning of buying the 2 disk special edition of it, but now i dont think I will.

It was during lunch last wednesday and I'm sitting alone eating my sushi when I spoted my uncle who is also studying at Uni (University of Waikato). I already know that Zee is currently sleeping at his place to bady sit his 2 girls because he works at night. He came over to where I sat and we talk until we reach the topic of my cousin sleeping in his house. He then invited me to acompany my cousin, which I thouht is a good Idea and I'm actually right (some unpleasant happened, you dont wanna know, but if you do then just ask).

I stayed thier for 3 nights. I decided to ditch friday so we stayed up late. My cousin is on to classic novels nowadays so she bought this DVD's to watch. And one of those DVD's is "Pride and Prejudice".

After the movie I was spacing out. It was the latest version of P&P and the actors were all amazing. I cant stop thinking about it. How things happen and how the they fit together. The love that is there all along those arguments and glaring. I cant express the feelings that I have in me right now. I now experiencing the no-words-can-explain thing. I just cant stop falling in,love with Mr. Darcy more that I did with Edward C. Its been days since is last seen the movie ( I have seen it twice) but still the chill that its giving everytime I recall 'kilig momments" is all the same, no, its much stronger.

Just now I was looking for Mr. Darcy's photo's to put in my MP3 playe. I went to photobucket to search, but I just cant finish doing it. Everytime I see a photo of him with the smile, that is rearly shown in the movie, I stop breathing. I'm having a hard time stopping my self from hugging the computer screen. He is Breathtakingly my ideal guy. The story is just the exsact love story mine I wish to be.

P&P is now my favorite movie. There are no choosing what, no comparing. Mr. Darcy is the one.

And Mr. Darcy? well . . . . . . . . . . . .

I ♥ Mr. Darcy...!

My Faceless Lover

2009-03-25T05:44:00.004+13:00

My Faceless Lover

Weird as you say but my cousins boyfriend is in the house yowh...! also the group of pilipino's she (my cousin) meet, I meet a few of them. We are having a camping and its raining. I dont know but the venue was in my grandma's house back home. It was a bit "ok" coz my cousin and her boyfriend is sharing the same tent to them selves. We are injoying our selves until the pairing happens. Dustin and Jenny is now official, Miguel and somebody else( not sure if its Jannel) ware keeping their conversation to them selves. One moring ( I think it was the next moring) some guys(whte guys) are loading down some beds and I dont know what else. Later did I know that the camping is extended, it doesnt bother me coz the longer, the better. My cousin and her boyfriend is in a huge swing( I dont know how to call it) and are talking about the plans when the camping is over. then, One of the guys I've seen Unloading some stuff shouted "As long as I can see LUCILLE again, its alright". I look at my cousin and she is looking back, grinning.

"What the Hell are you talking about?" I shouted back
"ling, he likes you. Isn't that obviouse?" My cousin EXplained.

We are inside a building, I'm setting in one corner, still confuse about what the dude said. Then I can hear them talking. Its not clear because the window is open and its raining. I dont know what's their topic, I just shouted:: "I dont even like KIWIs"

He stood up looking at me. He's aiming for the door, he pulled hes hood and walk out. I just stared back to the window. But I can see him throwing stones into the river with extra force. He have some audience with him. one of them is Jenny, I called her and signal. I'm not looking at the window, I dont want to face him him. A few minutes later, he walk in. I pulled a chair and offer it to him. and he did sit on it. I take off his wet jacket and hang it somewhere, I also offered him a towel. after that where fine, we are now sharing the same tent. nothing is happening of course.

But never once did i see his face.

2009-03-06T17:49:00.005+13:00

TOP 10 THINGS WHY TODAY IS DIFFERENT

i saw my uncle at school. first time this week
I saw a man. Pale, beautiful and has dark rings around its eyes. I wonder if he is a V.
For the first time this week, I'm not satisfied with my lunch (burger homemade)
I saw a dude. His eyes is so good to look at. its blue but not the ordinary blue eyes that you can see everywhere. Its like the color of your swimming pool. I really wish to look at it even just for a minute.
today is Friday. no class tomorrow, hurray...!!
for the first time this week I know what to do in my free time.
And to the first time this week, i feel awesome..
oh.., first time that I have to cover my head because it is raining

THINGS I HATE ABOUT SCHOOL

Stairs are everywhere.
My math teacher is nuts.
My Philosophy paper expect us to learn about "ARGUMENT"
My Psychology teacher have a very strong accent (his Swiss)
We have to attend tutorials
I don't know enough people to like it.
I still don't have my weekly allowance

"WONDERLAND IS GONE"

2009-03-04T19:08:00.001+13:00

STORE ROOM

I think its better this way,
even better to let you go,
All I have to know is if your happy,
shes a nice girl.

you will be fine,
I hope so, if not I'm always here for you.
But its better to move on
start to live once more.

I'm done with you
and that's for good.
day dreaming is over
like a bubble that popped in the sky,
like a candy taken away from a child.

But its also like a heavy book
being returned to the Library,
like a student who passed in her
major exam.

its a big relief, yes its is.
But what will happen to the empty space
you left behind?
the empty floor of the library
in which was once filled with notes
and books about you.

What will happen to the hallow space
you left deserted.
I say to lock it down,
lock it until some one much better
than you will arrive

someone greater than you will come
and grab the key from my hands
and open the door to the empty Library

Put truck of book's
far more greater than yours.
stock it with more useful documents
and store it with even more advance computers
and software's.

But until then, no one should inter the room
Until then, my life would be incomplete.

HOW'S THING'S?

2009-03-04T18:17:00.003+13:00

HOW THINGS HAVE GONE

I have to let go being a dreamer. I have to accept the fact that you no longer belong to me. I have to face the truth. Well, as long as you are happy, its fine by me.
School starts this week. yeah..I'm back to my boring classes and thing like that. Although I only have four subjects (here its called PAPER's) my schedule is still loaded because of tutorial which you have to have in every paper.

eg, Bio102: BIO lectures, BIO tutorials
BIO laboratory, BIO laboratory tutorials.

how crazy is that?

so all in all I have to attend 10 different classes per week.

I have a philosophy paper that study about ARGUMENT. Tell me, WHY WOULD I HAVE TO STUDY THIS FREAKIN' THING???? For god sake, who would be using this thing in there careers?? I mean, do we rally have to learn whats the meaning of argument? SOOOO DAMMMMNNNN WEIRD....!!!!
Speaking of weird, In the same subject I have a classmate who wears ninja stuff. When I say ninja stuff I mean naruto king of ninja. Like the forehead protector that ninja from KONOHA wear and also the green vest which I remember being use but one of the sensei in naturo's class. GOSH...!!! If you think about it really carefully. People here graduate in high school at the age of eithteen, that means his 18 years old but still sooooo obsessed with naruto. I'm a anime addict my self but I can still handle it well enough for not wearing stuff like thoese. Geeezzz...I wonder what would I look like if I dress like SAILOR MOON or like the girl from RAGNAROK, I think the girl named TAQUES or something like that. the girl who always wear blind fold. YEAH......

No more "DREAMER & DREAM ON"

heres new

"HALLOW HEART"

&

"UNLOCK MY HEART"

I thought it was cute ^______^

PS.

i got my second new testament BIBLE
today.

I'm Doing Good, I think

2009-02-20T13:10:00.003+13:00

"i'm doing good, i think"
(not sure, really)

so here we go., yesterday I lost this thing that i really needed.
i think it was my wallet, i never seen it for months.
(yeah.., thats how I am)
I need to move the bed so I can search on the other side of it
but i still got the thingy in there.
yeah, I havent got the courage to check what happened to the bastard
until yesterday. I got a stick with me in case the thing is still alive.
I slowly move the bed. climbed over it and have a look.
woohoo....!! the think is in there, laying on its back ans drop dead, dead!
yeehhaaaa!!!!

the next thing, my waking up problems.
haha! Even if i sleep about two in the morning i still wake up by 7;30 or so.
i feel really good. I have solve most of my problems except my weight and
my cleaning problems.
hihi..,

got to go..!!

last post i never said " dream on",
so now...

DREAM ON....!!!
double Effect..!!
0r
2X

hihi...,

2009-02-14T21:00:00.002+13:00

"freak out and kill a cicada"

it was a long warm night. i keep twisting and turning in my bed.
i opened my window as wide as it goes. unfortunately, no wind is
present, nothing to cool me down.
i was restless all night. heat keeping wide-eyed.

alas! night is over and sun came dashing up the sky.
i left my window open wide and just the white curtains the only
shield from anything. I came back to my room, to my big surprise
a cicada is sticking in my curtain.

I did everything just to stop the thingy from entering my room,
but it only make things worst. the cicada made to my bed.
I'm so scared that I left my room, close the door behind me and
forget that that horrendous thing is inside my room.

dark is approaching fast and i need to face the fact.
I grab a stick, about two feet long to try... i don't know.
kill the thing, maybe? its gonna die anyway.
but i didn't kill it using the stick but I grab a fly pray
and spray the ugly thing away(i still dont know if its still alive or not,
too scared to check.)
I went downstairs to look for a longer stick, and i did.
but it did nothing good. the thingy is trying to get away,
and it tried to fly. I freak out and accidentally hit the light.
not the light bulb but the glass thing that covers it.

oh.., i hate that thing.
so now, this time of the year, i will
always close the window whenever
i will leave my freakin' room.

i got set of dreams:
one is about 4 girls being herded into an
old building by 2 killers. their actually quite a hunk.
six packs and all that; the other one is about me.
its actually a girl that just turn 18. her family, or i would say her new family
tool her to this place. something like red district, but anyway they took her to that place
and try to get her drunk for the first time. when its time to dance, people seems
to avoid her. so, she sit back to her chair and tell her family about it. it so happens
that one of her family is a hair stylist and she ask her sister to give her a make over.
when she came out of the ladies room, people twist their neck to see her.

the story of my dream will be continue...

for now...

2009-02-09T22:52:00.002+13:00

"Being Difficult"

its probably just me or just her, my mother, annoying the hell out of me.
i sometimes cant understand my self whether i do or i dont understand my
self. i love being alone but if i am i feel like i'm people forget
about me. yeah.., maybe its just how people is.
all messed up, if its not then i dont what to call it.. imperfect perhaps?

you might be wondering what the heck i am talking about,
but the truth is, i dont know either.
i'm just letting my fingers write what ever they want.
its 11 pm. i'm watching desperate house wifes.
my brother is watching something in you tube.
i cant hear:
cha-cha-cha mirigo cha-cha-cha 2x
cha-cha-cha..!!!!

in front of me is the screen(ofcorz) and a cup of cold coffee.,
a sharpener, a comb(not mine), a pick, eraser, the thing that you use
to erase ball pen mess, a all-in-one remote control, a metal ruler, some speakers.

in my right side is a bunch of cables, a pair of dumbbells, electric fan, painting made by
my brother, a shelf contains some figurines.

and in my left hand side is the living room. you probably know
what would you see in a normal living room, right?

now, I'm pre-enrolled in the University.
One more step to go and I'm done with this freaking process
that takes ages to finish.

i almost remember, i already finish the book me and my cousin borrowed
from the library. now, i have nothing else to read.
she is planing another girls day out. I'm not sure with it my self.
but i think i will because i'm going to help her pass her application form
for the same school i applied for.

I'm trying very hard to get back in shape. I wake up 7 am to play
badminton for about 1 and a haft hour with my mother.
(7 am is early...FOR ME)
i only eat two meals a day. in this house/family, we dont prepare anything
for launch. but you are welcome to some fruits.
banana, apple, hmmm.., banana

something happened. its not the water line. I cant take a shower until
tomorrow. I havent been in the shower for two days now.
i feel sooo sticky.., god...!! why did it have to be like this.

oh.., i'm suffering sunburn on my back. i forgot to put sunblock on it.
goshhh...!!! this is what happens to people wearing backless
without thingking on putting sunblock.
now i have to take my bra off every now and then.

oh.., its full moon..!!!

well, whatever..,

DREAM ON..!!

2009-02-08T22:26:00.004+13:00

"Sunburn"

we went back to kawhia beach

and have a swim..

this time, with some relatives.,

sorry, no photo's

coz my sister is the photographer

(no good one's)

so yeah..,

its all clean and clear.

by the time were home,

i went straight to bed and sleep.

and wake up when my cousin went into my room.

and now the moon is full.

its really beautyful.

oh yeah.., i made my own alphabets,

hahaha.., its really nice to look at.

I call it "Dream Code"

and i dont know what else did I do this week.

have a nice day..!

DREAM ON...!

2009-01-31T12:20:00.004+13:00

"must be..,"

i'm irritated with the space bar of this computer.
u have to press it a bit harder than usual.
Urg... I wish its mine so i can throw it out the window.
anyway, i'm not sure what to write of all the things happened to me
this week.

the graduation letter:

my brother and I is in the same school but different campus.
and be both finish our course last year but
will graduate march this year.
so, our graduation letter arrived yesterday(his and mine)
so my little sister is handling our letter to me and my cousin jay2x
(who is sleeping over in my house)
I'm so excited to open it and see what does it say.
to my surprise the starting of the letter was:

"Dear Lowell Patrick"
(my brothers name)

I check the envelop to check if its really
address to me, and it is.

I'm like What the Hell?
wheres my graduation letter?
my brother just opened his and
and enclose was mine.
Me and my cousin just lough to what happened.

so yeah..,for that short second I feared
that i wont graduate.
i'm dead relief about that.

I am really graduating.., 18 years old,
graduating from college..? how cool is that...!!
but I planned to study again.
so, bring it on...!!

Dream on..!

2009-01-24T00:18:00.004+13:00

I'm dead Bored

ok..., who am I?

THE DREAMER....!!!!

that's right baby...

(L-R: Lonely Christmas, Definition of ME,
New Moon Book Cover, Candle light)

Whenever I'm in the mood
i make some drawings
sometimes, i copy
sometimes i don't

here are some of my habits.
I like my Color pencils to be always sharp.
and i don't throw those away coz
i just like to keep them...

Oh.., thats their spacial sharpener.
I mean, only for my color pencils.

My beloved color pencils, all have sharp edges.

I just like how it looks.

Dream On...!

2009-01-22T09:05:00.002+13:00

yeah....!! i did it....

its been such a mission to wake up before 10am,
hahahahaha......., i'm so proud of my self..,
i have to exercise today so that my body will get tired
so that i can sleep early tonight..,
:D
so yeah.., i'm going to the UNI today, after launch
to pass my application form,
i'm quite nervous coz maybe
they wont accept me.
i dont know if they would but,
i cant help my self from thinking all those negative things.
"stupid brain"

oh..., i drunk 1 glass milk with 6 tsp. of milo.
it still taste like milk.
("i dont like milk")
i did it because i want to fall asleep
immediately. it seems to work a little so
i'm going to do it again tonight.
see if it still work.

so, have a great day today..!!

DREAM ON...!!

2009-01-21T20:37:00.003+13:00

tragedy

i feel sad for her. i wish i could make things better for her.
but i cant. shes in T.A. and i'm in Hamilton.
now, all i can do is give her my whole heart support.

how i wish i could be at her side
to listen to her.
how i wish i was the ice cream she is eating now
to comfort her.
(hmmmmm.., ice cream)

anyway..., good luck girl..., i know you can do it
:D

love,
"the dreamer"

2009-01-20T13:05:00.000+13:00

Last Nights Dream
"Ballroom Dancing"

whattt....! yeah.., ball room.
haven't i told you?
I can dance baby..! hahaha..., yeah..,
do you know "Take the Lead" by Antoneo Banderas?
its a movie about ballroom dancing. and its actually base on real life story .
Now, in my dream I was dancing in the competition.
oh yeah..,I'm dancing with a girl so its odd.
girl-girl in a competition.
this girl i'm dancing with is stranger.
so, we are just dancing for fun. swinging in every direction
we like. we are laughing to our selves then suddenly we are winning.
ohh...yeah..,

i just realize. i still dream 60x every night but the
problem is i cant remember any of them.
except for this one.
anyway, the academic records that I phoned yesterday
is here already. boy.., they're fast..!
so, tomorrow, I will go to the enrollment office in the university.
wish me luck..!! nOO...! hope me luck...!!
wahahaha..., so yeah..,
i wake up at 10:15 this morning so i'm making progress.

:D

2009-01-19T14:14:00.000+13:00

Problem #1

hey.., I've got a problem.
I cant dream....!!
shoot...!! where can you see
a dreamer who cant dream?
O.M.G. i don't know whats happening
in the brain of mine who was once called brilliant
by me cousin. I don't think its working properly.
so,

"WANTED"
BRAIN FIXER

nah.., just kidding.

anyways, i'm waiting for my Academic records
to arrive so i can finish my enrollment
in the university.
i'm quite excited about it.

oh., I'm broke.
I've ZERO money baby. LOL.
so, i have nothing to do until Wednesday.

yesterday, we have our movie marathon
i didn't like it because its all horror movie
or suspense or something with monsters and killers in it.
i just hide in my bed room and play the guitar.

oh yeah, my planning on making a wish list
like movies that i wanted to see, or things that i wanted to get before 2009
end. its going to be divided into 2 parts

"HOPE List"
and
"WISH List"

do you know whats the difference?
no? Google it. LOL

PROBLEM #2

i have problem sleeping before 12am.
coz i got use sleeping at dawn.
so if you have any advice please write it on my CBOX.
MILK doesn't work on me.
i need stronger than milk but milder that pills.
LOL.

oh anyway, what do you call this sickness?

:D
[:
:]
:D

2009-01-17T20:24:00.000+13:00

I meet a new friend from a hundred miles away..,

hey....!!! before i start.
just got from a 2 night sleep over in
my uncles place to baby sit his daughters
when he goes to work.
(you can never leave small children at home without
an adult, if you do.., you will have a sleep over behind the cold
bars for about more than a month):D

so.., yeah. his from Philippines, 17.
yehey....!!! were kinda similar.
i love anime's and he dose too.,
he love animals, and so do i..,

so, lingaw kaau ko...!!!
trans : so.., I'm so happy...!!!

and, pa.cute kaau xa..,

2009-01-16T00:14:00.000+13:00

whoa...!!!

i play guitar., and i have this song in my mind
but i dont know what chords could i play them.

so this cousin of mine who usually makes songs is with me
to baby sit our uncles dauthers for a night., coz he works at night.
(yeahhh!!!)
and, i told her about it and she made me sing this song i made which
is only made up of two verses.
trhen, i ask her to finish it for me.
and she did..! and it turns out to be great...!!

im so happy, she put a chorus on it and bridge too..,
so, if she will record it i would let everyone hear it..,

the story is about a girl dreaming(me) of the boy(him),
they use to be together but the boy lost interest
in her and left her. but the girl still keeps dreaming
but everytime she wakes up
she would scold her self for dreaming about him.
and remind her self that he is gone and he would never come back to her.
amen.

kidding..!!!!

the title is "remind myself"

how i wish he can hear it..,

:(

2009-01-15T23:56:00.000+13:00

its been a while

its been a while since i written anything, its also
been a while since i dream of something.
i stopped dreaming about him and it makes me feel
reliefe and annoyed.
reliefe for after 2 years..! i finally getting better at forgetting me.
annoyed because if i dont dream about him, there's nothing left to
dream about. so, i'm still alive and dreamless every night.

whats happening to me now?
well, you can letirally call me a vampire now.
i'm awake from dusk till dawn :)
hehe.., not really but, i wake up 1pm.
and go to bed at 3am.
hahaha.., there...! i'm a vampire..,

and...! my mother is really getting mad at me coz
all i do is just sleep.
so, what i did this very day is enroll for the
course i choose(although i wasnt finish yet)
and prove her that i'm not that stupid and lazy at all.
XD :) XD :D

happy..!! coz i'll be studying at uni...!!!!
class starts at the 2nd of march...!!!

wish me luck....!!!

2009-01-07T19:53:00.000+13:00

♣-----Kawhia Fishing-----♣

Fishing..!

So, we've gone fishing to Kawhia (pronounce as Kafia)
here some photo of what i did when I'm bored waiting for my
father, uncle and brothers to catch some fish...

"Mermaid"

actually i'm shouting for my sister to take a photo of the thing
before the wave washes it off.
It doesn't have a face yet.

I maid that for the fact that I'm at sea.
I'm telling my self that if i believe in vampires
i also have to believe to the other creatures
that is also a part of some people imagination.

"flower"

I have no idea why i curve a flower.
maybe because i always want to make one,
ever since i was in high school.

"Do you know that is it?"

imagine that thing is red. i'm sure you've already know.
anyway, its haft buried because i cant make a whole one out of fine sand.

"I'm still a twilighter no matter what they say"

Lastly, me, the dreamer.

i still don't know what would my logo be.
i maid one but i don't think its good enough.

"what do you think?"

"Dream On"

Everything

2009-01-02T19:42:00.000+13:00

♣=Everything=♣

setting: family camping or i think its swimming.

venue: part camping site, part swimming pool, and part of my aunts house.

date: no idea

So, its was a family gathering on my moms side.

Changing

I was looking for something to wear to swim. I was very uncomfortable for some reasons.
I look down to see my self and the problem is their.
I'm walking in the pool side without a top. and i don't know but i didn't panic.(stupid)
Its crazy because i only have my left arm to cover up.
then i found my bra and a singlet. so problem solve.

Try Singing?

I was walking towards the poolside where my cousins are busy singing
on the karaoke machine. I'm just listening to them when suddenly they offer me the mic.
The pitch of the song was too high for me to sing so tried to push it away. Then suddenly
somebody grab the mic and sing the remaining lyrics of the song which i cant remember.
I was shock, not because of what the person have done for me but for who the person was.
Its was HIM.

Zee, meet him

I dont know what happen after the karaoke thing but here we are now
and in the pool with HIM and what shock me most is that ZEE was their?
What on earth is she doing here? And she sat next to HIM.
*ZEE knows everything about him (in my point of view).
She was eying me. oh noh..! her eyes have this "so-this-is-him" look.
I introduce him to her still cant look at her in the eye.
Saying he was a high school friend. no need to tell here much more details
for she already know.

I'm not Tired of Dreaming

2008-12-30T20:44:00.000+13:00

♣=I'm not tired of Dreaming=♣

I dream of him again.

this time i know he was their
but he is just looking at me.
looking from a distance.

the dream was something i dream of doing( i think)

the story goes this way:

venue: Combination of a school and the
kisolon market.
time: High school, i think, because we are wearing
high school uniform.

I was back in Philippines. I think I'm somebody's daughter
that come home from abroad for good.
their something like a amazing race going on and I'm the best participant
on the game because my team wins.

I can see in the corner of my eye that he was looking at me
*gosh...!!! i was stupid to wish that he would talk to me.*

And the game was over, then i realize that my dad was planning a fiestival
in our small town. I help him set up the flayers and other things.

then, some popular bands came over to perform.
my dad is worried because he cant find an MC to lead the
whole performance.
luckily I'm around so I become the MC.

I'm seeing my self in the stage. wearing shorts and strapless top.

*i never wear shorts and strapless in public*

then the vocalist of the band ask if i were cold then i answered no and he laugh
because I'm not cold and its raining.

then i can feel him somewhere in the audience, looking at me
with his eyes full or regret.

dreaming again

2008-12-29T16:01:00.000+13:00

♣=Dreaming Again=♣

Its HIM again..,

i dream of something like i
travel back time..,

i dream that we are still high schoolers..,
but the setting is wrong because its my
elementary school that is shown im my dream.

its something like there is a festival
because student stay outdoors.,

so me, Riza, and Jamillah is their.
and HIM

he was nowhere to be seen but
i know he is here

i sat on a table where a stranger (student)
is sitting their alone..,

then suddenly he showed up and sit beside me..,

so.., what happen was we are talking.,
his always on my side..,
its something like mine and his lips are inches away

somebody is giggling so i bent across him
then suddenly i told him.

"if you dont want me, then let me go"

he never answer, this hurts me.,

then we continue talking
this is the funny part

*earlier i gave him chocolate bars*

him: this is me (pointing on one of the two bars)
me: why?
him: because i am taller
me: so that's me? (pointing on a shorter choco bar)
him: (smiles) yeah..,
me: lets eat me..(attempting to grab the chocobars)
Him: noway..!!
(loud giggles from student who are looking at us)

the chocolate bars fell on the ground

but what was he thinking?
comparing me from a chocolate bars?

i cant recall what we talk about but its really good.
then he walk away, i dont know where..,

then some student sit closer to have a better view?
then i turn to face then, they are smiling at me.,

then HIM take a chair from somewhere then he sit with them..,

i was facing them, im a bit annoyed to him sitting with them instead with me.,

to my surprise,

HE KISSED ME..,